Room Of Plastic Flowers

In the Beginning there was a band. Not just your average run-of-the-mill band...this was LIFEHOUSE! After a 10 day period of no shows...then 1 show proceeded by another 10-11 days of sitting on their butts doing absolutely nothing, the boys of Lifehouse decided it was time to once again hit the road on a little adventure they liked to call...LIFEHOUSE TOUR 2005! (they weren't feeling very creative)

Departing from Somewhere In Between CA and Nevada, the band pumped themselves up for their next show in PA. Jason slowly ambled down towards the back of the bus to hopefully find a nice quiet place to write some more kick ass songs to make women (and some men) want to drop Everything and follow the sounds of his guitar to the ends of the earth. It was as he was pondering this that he saw a light on in the back. This was odd because he had assumed everyone was already asleep. He entered the back room to find Rick reading of all things.

Jason: Dude, what are you doing?
Rick: What does it look like?
Jason: Well, whatcha reading?
Rick: Well, it's about this kid named, Simon, and he's totally obsessed with Fairytales and Sandcastles. And one day he's magically transported to this world that is exactly like his Wish world. But there's this evil wizard dude who puts a Crown of Scars upon him and leaves him on the Edge of a cliff. The kid feels like such a Fool and lower than a Mudpie. But he finally decides to forget his self pity and Climb to the top once again.
Jason: *Blink*
Rick: Yeah, pretty deep, right? I think it was written in like the Eighties or sometime around then...All in All it's a pretty good book.
Jason: Interesting...so what chapter are you on?
Rick: Oh, only Chapter One, but it's very riveting!
Jason: *Blink* Ok...well I guess I'll just go to bed.
Rick: You sure?
Jason: Yeah...after listening to that story I have this funny feeling I write tooooo much...

The next day all the guys woke up to another beautiful May morning. The sun was shining, the grass was green, and the beer was cold...yes, life was good. You think they missed seeing the women in their lives...NAH! They had their male bonding sessions to keep them company. Nothing but dirty jokes, burping, PS2 tournaments, and the occasional beer or 2 (or 10 but who's counting). Along the Way, Bryce had had a funny feeling about this trip, a feeling he couldn't explain. He was new to the band and in some cases was still Trying to find his place...sure, he was the bassist, but he felt like so much more than that. There were so many questions unanswered. He would watch the Days Go By and think to himself, "Am I Ever Gonna Find Out?" "Am I Just Another Name in the band?" “Am I the Only One who feels this way?"

Very suddenly, and interrupting Bryce's chance at an Oscar, the bus began to swerve back and forth on the road. Bryce raced up to the bus driver who seemed rather calm for their current situation.

Bryce: Are you Blind?! Don't you see all that Cling and Clatter in the middle of the road?!
Driver: Just out of the one eye...
Bryce: *Blink*

The bus began to Spin, the men began to fall, a very expensive crash scene began to take place, the writer began to check her budget to make sure she was insured for this. Finally, the bus crashed into an Empty Space off the side of the road. Ben was the first one to break open a window and jump out. His once dark hair was now once again striped with blonde streaks to the delight of the fans (yay!!!!). He began calling out the names of the people inside, but suddenly became Out of Breath and had to sit down. Not long after, he heard the sounds of Bryce and Rick carrying Jason, who was unconscious, out of the bus. They laid his body on the ground and checked for signs of life.

Bryce: Is he Breathing?
Rick: I think so...
Bryce: Cause if he were to suddenly bite the big one, I would take it upon myself to take over the lead vocals...

At that, Jason suddenly sat up.

Jason: I'm all good.
Rick: *patting Bryce on the shoulder* Better Luck Next Time.

Ben came over to make sure the guys were ok.

Bryce: Hey, Ben, when did you dye your hair back?
Ben: I didn't, some bleach poured on me as the bus flipped over...
Guys: OHHHHHHH....
Jason: Hey, where's the crew? Are they ok?
Ben: No, they're dead.
Jason: All of em!!!!!!!!!
Ben: Yep....pretty weird isn't it.
Rick: And the bus driver too?
Bryce: In the long run I think we're better off with that loss....
Rick: Wait a sec...all our instruments are destroyed!
Jason: *looking up at the sky letting out a Revolution Cry* NOOOOOO!!!!
Ben: And all the food and beer are gone too...
Bryce and Rick: *becoming Undone* WHYYYYY, GOOOODDDD, WHYYYYY??!!!!!!
Ben: Guys get a grip. We need to wave someone down for a ride and find a place to stay cause I think a Storm is coming.

And with that, the broken men picked themselves up and began Walking Away from the carnage and down the road to seek their fortunes. Walking alone on the road for hours in the hot sun can make a man go crazy. They began seeing things that weren't there...like beers the size of King Kong. Before long, they were ready to give up.

Rick: I can't walk anymore...we're gonna die out here all alone in some Unknown place.

As he said this he leaned against this random poll out in the middle of nowhere. Just then, something very large fell on his head.

Rick: OUCH! Hey, the Sky is Falling!
Jason: *rolling his eyes* Noooo, look it’s just a random Anchor.

Rick: Whoa...ok, time out. Why on earth did you drop an anchor on me?
Writer: Well how else was I suppose to get "Anchor" into this?
Rick: You could have put us on a ship and that way I'd have a cool parrot and a wooden leg! That'd be sweet!
Writer: *Blink* Anyways, may I continue...
Rick: Or you could have dropped it on someone else....
Writer: AHEM!
Rick: ....sorry....

As I was saying, Rick got hit on the head by a random Anchor.

Rick: Ouch! Where did that come from?
Bryce: I think from that sign on the pole....just a guess.

And a good guess it was, because as the boys looked up they saw a sign for a random carnival called, Quasimodo out in the middle of nowhere. *cue creepy coincidence music*

Ben: Do you hear creepy coincidence music?
Bryce: Yahhhhhh......creepy......
Jason: Oh good, that means people are nearby. Come on, guys.

So off they went. Things seemed to be looking up for the boys....but that could always change.....By the time they had reached the center of the carnival, a whole group of people were crowding around them.

People: OMG IT'S LIFEHOUSE! Bryce you’re sexy! Rock on Rick! Jason, I want to have your babies! (my apologies to Braeden) Ben! Your hair is back!!!!! YAY!!!

Now normally you would think that this would frighten a person....but not our boys!!!

They stood there signing away. Then about 4 girls came up to the guys and asked for a picture, and being the great guys they are, they said, "Sure!" and had a Hanging By A Kodak Moment. After what seemed an eternity, the guys were able to Wash their sweaty bodies... (I couldn't resist) Rick and Bryce treated themselves to ice cold beers.

Rick: *going into his Gollum mode* My Prrreecciooouss

Once the 4 were replenished, they began to look around for a nice person to take them to PA. After all, they still had a show to do....even though all their instruments had bit the dust. They saw a van with a heavier set man inside and decided to walk up to him.

Jason: Ummm, Excuse me, I know this sounds weird, but we have a show in PA tomorrow and we need to get there pronto...can you give us a lift?
Guy: Well sure. Come on in.
Jason: Thanks pal...what's your name?
Guy: Oh uh...Climbfall, Stanley Climbfall.
Jason: Riiiiigggghhhtttt.....*creepy coincidence music starts up again*
Ben: Dude that music is creeping me out....

The guys were much obliged and got in.

Stanley: Say, didn't you have that big hit a couple years back?
Rick: We sure did!
Stanley: Yeah that...uh...'Wherever you go..." song, right?
Jason: Dude, that's Somebody Else's Song.

And so the guys drove off Into the Sun. But the next night they were starting to worry.

Bryce: Man, I betcha it's Midnight in Philadelphia.
Jason: Calm down...we're gonna make it.
Rick: Ummm may I remind you that we have no instruments, no crew, no bus driver and no bus.....I think we're screwed.
Ben: I concur.
Writer: Don't worry guys...remember who's writing this.
Rick: Oh God, we're gonna end up on the side of the road with pigeons pecking at our remains, aren't we?
Writer: That would be a good plot twist, but no.

And so the boys pulled up out side the stage door, thanked Stanley, and ran into the place. When they got there, the management wasn't too happy....

Management: We're not happy! (they need a better writer) And to make things worse you guys are telling us that you don't have any instruments?! What are you going to do out there?
Jason: Look, I've got an idea...I'm not saying it's spectacular, but it's the only thing we've got.

And with that the boys did a cute group huddle.

Jason: *to the guys* alright guys....it just You and Me.
Bryce: ....and all those other people, right?
Jason: Yeah, ok, sure. Now let's do this!

The guys went out to a screaming audience and Jason went up to the mike.

Jason: How you guys feelin tonight?
Audience: *cheers* *swoons*
Jason: We are so excited to be here with guys...we've...uh picked a specific set list for you guys, Philadelphia, that will not be played anywhere else on this tour.......we hope. I'm asking you to be very understanding and extremely open.

And with that the band began to play...that is they began to play air guitar, air bass, and air drums. The audience was completely silent as the first verse of HBAM came and went....but in a weird twist of fate (or the fact that the writer was feeling sorry for the guys) the audience began to sing along and really get into it. After the show, as the guys were signing, the management presented them with beautiful new instruments that had been dropped off by a delivery truck that very hour....*creepy coincidence music starts back up*

Ben: Ok, I want to know where that's coming from!

So in weird twist of fate, our Lifehouse boys are safe and sound...resting again for another 10-11 days, drinking their beer, and sharing the bonds of brotherhood. Why all this happened to them...We'll Never Know.

Well, at least you guys will never know....heehhehe....

The End.......Has Only Begun