Room Of Plastic Flowers

When we last saw the boys, they were recovering from a very traumatic experience…an experience that left them wondering if they should take up ice-fishing. But they managed to pull through with a little help from the writer (thank you very much). After their latest vacation of about 10-11 days, the guys were red hot and once again heard the call of the road! (or the several angry messages from their fans telling them to get their butts into gear). Traveling together for almost a year was starting to have a strong affect on the guys. They would have arguments about the littlest things…like making fun of Rick’s new butterfly tattoo on his tooshie.

Rick: Hey!

Writer: But a very manly butterfly…

Rick: Thank you.

During one of their most heated PS2 tournaments, one of the biggest brawls broke out. It was down to Jason’s team and Rick’s team. It was close…too close…down to the buzzer close…thumbs bleeding close…you get the idea close. In the end, Jason came out victorious.

Jason: *jumping in the air* Yessss!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! I WIN! I WIN!

Rick: *annoyed* Jason, get back down here. You don’t have to gloat.

But Jason did have to gloat, and gloat he did.

Jason: *GLOAT GLOAT GLOAT*

Rick: Oh yeah?! Well, you put “w’s” in front of your words!

Jason: Oh really?! Well, you have more tattoos than Denise Rodman! And one’s a butterfly!

Rick: Hey, you can insult my family, friends, even my drums…but NEVER insult my butterfly!

And just when you thought things couldn’t get anymore childish…

Jason: Oh yeah?!

Rick: Yeah!

Jason: Oh yeah?!

Rick: Yeah!

And with a final ‘yeah,’ Rick pushed Jason down, took off his Chucks, and threw them out the window.

Jason: NOOOOO!!!!

Hearing the commotion from the front, Ben and Bryce hurried to the back of the bus. As they stood in the doorway, they saw the sight of Jason sprawled out on the couch, shoes off, with Rick standing above him…it wasn’t a pretty sight…

Bryce: *with a worried expression* What the hell is going on back here?!

Jason: *getting up right away* It’s not what it looks like…

Rick: *confused* What does it look like?

Jason: Never mind that…Rick just threw my Chucks out the window!

Bryce and Ben: No way, dude!

Bryce: You don’t mess with a man’s Chucks. That’s just not right.

Rick: Oh come on, the man’s got like fifty pairs…

Jason: Yeah, but they’re all at home!

Ben: Jason, I’ll let you borrow a pair of mine, ok. Let’s get some sleep now, please.

And so “Ben the Peacemaker” once again took on the father role and sent the boys to bed. After all, they did have a show to do the next day. Night turned into day and day turned into night, and the Lifehouse tour bus, all new and shiny, drove up a dirt hill to a very vintage (old) part of town. They finally arrived to the venue, which looked like it had been out of business for several years. The hotel they were staying at was even further up the road on the top of a hill. As the crew (whom the guys decided to get life insurances on) unpacked their gear, the boys took this time to check in.

Bryce: This place is kind of creepy…

Rick: Yeah. Maybe we should stay someplace else…

Jason: Come on, guys. I think it’s pretty cool.

Rick: You would.

Before Jason could say something just as clever, the boys heard a loud bell just above them.

Bryce: Man…that scared the crap out of me!

Rick: I think I wet myself…

Random voice: Woooould yyouu liiiike a freeeeesh paaaair of panttts siiirrr…?

The guys looked around the room but saw no one.

Jason: Did someone say something?

Random voice: Yessss siiirrrr iiii saiiiiddd sooomeeethiiiiinggg…

The boys glanced over the reception desk to discover a very tiny man of no more than 4ft tall staring up at them.

Tiny Clerk: Wouuuuullldd yyoooouu liiikkee sooomme pannntss siiirrr?

Rick: No thanks, I’m all good.

Ben: We’d like to check into our rooms, though.

Tiny Clerk: Offf cooouurrrssee siirrr…*coming from behind the counter* Riiiigghhttt thiisss wayyy geeennttllemenn…

And so they followed him up the long staircase to the second floor where their rooms were.

Tiny Clerk: Heerrree areeee your rooommss…

Jason: Hey, could stop dragging out your words like that? It’s really annoying, and I think the writer’s sick of doing it (he’d be correct).

Tiny Clerk: Oh you’re no fun.

Rick: Wait a second, why are there only 2 rooms?

Tiny Clerk: Oh yes, well you see, we don’t get much business up here, so we only have the two rooms. I guess you boys will have to double up. *winks; slaps Rick on the butt, and leaves*

Rick: That dude is creepy…

All the guys agreed. There was definitely something off about this place. So the guys split up into twos, Rick and Jason, Bryce and Ben. Ben and Bryce were beat from the day and decided to go right to bed. Rick was in the bathroom getting ready for bed as Jason sat on the bed strumming on his old guitar. Rick came out and hopped on the bed.

Rick: Man, I’m beat…

Jason: Yeah, me too man. I’m gonna go see if there’s an ice machine somewhere. Be back in a flash.

Rick: *falling asleep* Hmm...hmmm…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rick blinked his eyes a few times, but all he could see was the darkness that surrounded him. He laid there for awhile before he realized that Jason wasn’t in the bed next to him. He sat up.

Rick: Jason?

When there was no answer, Rick turned on the light. Jason’s bed was neatly made…with a pair of chucks on the pillow. *creepy coincidence music plays softly in the background*

Rick: Ok…come on, where are you? Ha Ha. Very funny, Jason. Come on out.

But there was no reply.

Rick: Hey, where’s Jason?

Writer: How should I know…?

Rick: You know all.

Writer: Like I’m gonna tell you.

Rick: I never liked you.

Frustrated that the writer was being a pain once again, Rick scampered out of the room across the hall to B&B’s room.

Rick: Guys! Hey, open up! Jason’s gone! Open the door!

Bryce: *half asleep* What are you talking about?

Rick: Jason, you know the guy who sings the songs? He’s gone! And his chucks are on the pillow.

Bryce: Wow…something must be wrong. He wouldn’t leave his chucks behind.

Rick: Get Ben up.

Ben: I’m up, I’m up.

Rick: What should we do about this?

Bryce: Well, many fans have told me I have a very sexy voice, so I could always…

Rick: *interrupting* Forget it!

Bryce: Ok, well I didn’t see you coming up with anything.

Ben: Alright. Let’s walk around downstairs…maybe he’s down there.

And with that the brave manly men strutted, very cautiously, down the stairs to the main lobby. When they got there the tiny clerk was sitting on the counter.

Ben: Umm excuse me, but have you seen a man walking around here tonight.

Tiny Clerk: Maybe…

Rick: What do you mean, ‘maybe?’ I know you know that we know that you know where Jason is.

Tiny Clerk: Oh do you. Well I know something you don’t know that I know.

Bryce: I’m lost…

Tiny Clerk: Jason liked seeing his chucks again…

Rick: What are you talking about?

Tiny Clerk: The chucks on his bed…they’re the ones you threw out the window…

Rick: How’d you know that?

Tiny Clerk: *turning off the light* I know…

The guys screamed as the room went pitch black.

Ben: Ouch! Get off of me!

Bryce: I can’t see anything!

Rick: Does anyone have an extra pair of pants?

As the comments continued, Rick felt around for a light switch. As the lights went on, Rick discovered he was alone; Bryce and Ben were gone, their chucks set where they were last standing.

Rick: Oh…shit.

Rick called out for them, without any luck. He felt his hopes of ever seeing his friends again leave his body. He slumped against the wall scared, worried, and wet. Then Rick heard something outside. He walked to the door to see Jason sitting on the ground with his guitar.

Rick: Jason! I’m so glad you’re alright! We have to get out of here!

But Jason didn’t budge. He kept playing the same eerie melody over and over again.

Rick: Jason, what’s wrong with you? Why won’t you look at me?

Just then Jason suddenly stopped playing.

Jason: Where are my chucks?

Rick: They’re in the room.

Jason: I want them. Why did you throw them?

Rick: Jason you’re creeping me out…snap out of it.

Jason slowly turned towards Rick. His eyes were a glowing red. He started insanely laughing. Out from the nearby bushes sprung Bryce and Ben with the same glowing eyes, the same taunting laugh, the three of them closing in around him.

Rick: Stay away from me you walking brainless muppet dolls!

But they didn’t stop. Rick felt fear coming over him.

Rick: Why does all this crap happen to me?

Writer: Use the butterfly.

Rick: What?!

Writer: Don’t make me say it again.

Rick: If you say so…

Rick, taking inspiration from his manly butterfly tattoo, pushed Bryce to the ground. Ben tried to grab him, but Rick was too slick and was able to dodge him. Jason seized him from behind.

Jason: Take off his shoes!

Ben pulled off his shoes and put chucks in their place, but not just any chucks…pink chucks.

Rick: NOOOOOO!!!! Stop!!!!!! Pink isn’t my color!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Rick? Rick? Rick! Wake up, man.

Rick opened his eyes to see all the guys staring at him.

Rick: What’s going on?

Bryce: You fell asleep while we were playing the PS2.

Rick: OMG! It was just a dream. But it was so real, so scary, and so…cool! I dreamed I threw Jason’s chucks out the window and we went to this creepy hotel and there was this tiny dude and you all turned into walking brainless muppet dolls to seek revenge on me and stuff…

Bryce, Ben, Jason: *BLINK*

Jason: Wait…you did what to my chucks?

So the boys of Lifehouse (and their chucks) once again made it safely to their next concert. Rick decided to take it easy for a couple days and bond with his inner butterfly. And that brings another Lifehouse adventure to an end.