Lifehouse in: Trick or Treat?

It had been a long tour, but that didn’t mean the boys of Lifehouse didn’t want to have their own Halloween fun. Ean rushed around his house to finish up the last minute decorations for his huge Halloween blowout party.

Ean: You mean I’m actually in the story?!

Writer: Hey, a promise is a promise…

Ean: Awesome! I won’t let you down!

Ean was just about to run upstairs when the telephone rang.

Ean: *answering phone* Hello?

Voice: Do you like scary movies?

Ean: Um…well it depends…why you ask?

Voice: He…hee…I’m watching you this very minute…

Ean: Really?  How do I look?

Voice: Good…I’m glad you shaved the beard off; it just wasn’t working on you.

Ean: Oh thanks.

Voice: Anyways…I think you should get naked a take a shower…

Ean: *ponders* Hmmm….ok.

Ean walks up the stairs, gets naked, and takes the shower. While he is humming ‘Sweeter than Chocolate,’ the outline of a shadow can be seen against the shower curtain. *suspenseful creepy music plays in the background*

Ean: Oh man, I forgot my rubber ducky.

As Ean turns around, his face twists in horror as the site of a large butcher knife comes down from the curtain. *insert Psycho music here*

The person runs out and leaves Ean for dead. Later on that night…

Ean: *lying on the ground in blood* Wait a minute. That’s how it ends?!

Writer: Well the story isn’t over, but your role is.

Ean: Why do I have to die?

Writer: Your death should be look upon as a crucial part to the plot…without this event, there would be no story.

Ean: So basically I’m the idiot who gets themselves killed in the first few minutes of the story…

Writer: Yeah, pretty much. But you do it so gracefully.

Ean: Gee…thanks.

Later on that night, the boys of Lifehouse show up one by one at Ean’s house. Jason had dressed up as ‘Jason’ with a ski mask on his head; Bryce was cover from head to toe in green paint as the monster Frankenstein, Ben dressed up as a kangaroo, and Rick was in a large gorilla suit as King Kong.

Ben: Rick, I love your costume!

Rick: Thanks, I think its giving me a rash though…

Bryce: Yeah, well the fumes from this paint are making me nauseous.

Ben: I like your costume too, Jason. That’s pretty clever.

Jason: *muffled voice* Thanks…*walks into the house*

Bryce: What’s wrong with him?

Rick: Oh don’t mind Jason. He’s not a big fan of Halloween ever since the time I super-glued turtles to his hair…that was the “real” reason he had to cut it.

Ben: I’m not even going to ask…

Rick: Good, it’s a long story.

The other three guys soon walked in.  The house was very quiet, too quiet. Now of course something had to be up.

Rick: Something’s up…I can feel it in my gorilla bones.

Bryce: Ean! You ready?

But there was no answer.  Without Jason, the other three decided to go upstairs to look for their friend only to discover his lifeless body in the bathroom.

Rick: OMG!

Ben: What are we going to do?!

Bryce: Well some people have told me I could do a pretty mean Myster-E impression…

Rick: Bryce, do I have to sic the hose on you?

Bryce: I’m just trying to be helpful.

Suddenly, there was an illuminated light above the guys and an image of Ean became visible.

Rick: I see dead people…they’re everywhere!

Ean: Rick, calm down.  I’m here to tell you to beware of Jason.

Bryce: Jason?

Ean: Yes, he’s not himself tonight…I don’t think he ever got over our little joke on him, plus, he’s been eating pounds of chocolate…and you know what chocolate does to him.

Rick: Oh no, it can’t be that bad!

Ean: Um hello…I’m dead! It’s pretty bad.

Rick: Oh, good point.

The sound of a chain saw can be heard in the distance. Slow evil laughter is coming from outside.

Bryce: We’ve got to go out there and do something!

Rick: Like what? I never thought he’d go this far…what was all that crap about not believing in violence?

Ean: You must be a man and avenge me…*disappears; echoing voice* Avvvveennnggge mmmeeeeee….*gone*

Rick: I don’t want to be a man!

Ben: Let’s go men. I have a feeling something’s not right.

So the guys slowly walk down the stairs and out the door to the yard.  Rick finds a random video camera on the ground with a sign next to it saying, “Use me.” 

Rick: Alright guys. I’m gonna film our little adventure here. Maybe we can sell it to Hollywood and they can make a really crappy movie that people will make fun of for years to come.

Ben: Yeah…like that will ever happen.

Bryce: Wait what’s that hanging from that tree.

Rick zooms in on the nearby tree to discover a guitar pic hanging by a string with a little wooden man hanging by it.

Rick: The creature has left us a sigh…what could it mean, I wonder?

Bryce: It could mean that he’s coming this way to kill us.

Rick: What makes you think that?

Ben: Because there’s a distinct figure coming toward us with a chain saw…and he looks angry.

Guys: *look at each other; look forward* AHHHHHHH! *start running*

Rick: *running with shaky camera* Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!

Ben: *looking into lens with snot coming from his nose* I don’t want to die…

Bryce: *looking into lens sniffling* I…am so…scared…right now….

There is a random car that Bryce finds on the side of the road.

Bryce: Hey, guys, get in this conveniently placed car with the keys in the ignition.

Ben: Alright! *climbs in*

Bryce starts up the car.

Rick: Wait for me! *jumps on to the hood* GOOOOO!!!!!!!!

And with that, Bryce, Ben and Rick, holding on for dear life to the hood of the car began cruising down the streets of California at speeds unimaginable.  Just when the thought they had lost ‘Jason,’ there he was standing at the end of a block, right in front of their car.

Bryce: How in the hell…?

Ben: That’s impossible!

Rick: *holding on for dear life* AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Bryce slammed on the brakes, but not soon enough, for the hooded ‘Jason’ flew up in the air and landed with a thud as he collided with the car. The guys rushed to the figure only to discover it was neither their Jason nor alive.

Ben: What are we gonna do with the body.

Rick: *seeing convenient lake next to them* I know! We’ll dump the body in the lake and none of us will speak of this again…besides, we promised to avenge Ean’s death and we have!

So the guys flopped the body of the dead crazy man over into the water and poured some cement on him, which just happened to be in the trunk of the car. Wanting to get to the bottom of this, Bryce, Rick, and Ben drove over to Jason’s house to get some answers out of him.

Ben/Rick/Bryce: *rings doorbell* Trick or Treat!

Jason: *opening door; puzzled* Don’t you guys think you’re a little old for this?

Rick: You can never be too old to dress up as an oversized ape!

Jason: If you say so…

Bryce: Why weren’t you at Ean’s tonight? You won’t believe all the weird crazy stuff that happened to us!

Jason: A lot of weird crazy stuff always happens to us. I told Rick I wasn’t coming…You know I don’t care too much for Halloween anymore after the turtle incident.

Rick: Hehehe…turtles in Jason’s hair…good times!

Jason: I sent my cousin in my place…I hope he wasn’t too much trouble.

Ben: Oh, sure, no trouble at all.

Bryce: Uh…Jason…

Jason: Yeah…

Bryce: I do hope he wasn’t a very close cousin.

Copyright by Maureen