Room Of Plastic Flowers

Hey, there. My name’s Ben Carey. I’m Australian, which I’ve found fascinates most people in this country for some reason. I’m currently the touring guitarist for Lifehouse. That’s been…interesting. The guys are cool. We’ve been through a lot together over the past year. I’m excited to share some incites with you, the reader. One major benefit of not being an “actual” member of the band is I don’t have to attend those silly interviews where the same questions are asked over and over again. Instead, I stay in the bus and reflect on the days events…and the people I met that day. So, you want to know the dirt on the guys? Well let’s see, there’s…

Bryce

Bryce and I have come together on the fact that we are both from different countries. We have developed a secret society called “Canadian-Australian Revolution,” or CAR…we liked the fact that it spelled out an actual word. The society, so far, only consists of me and Bryce, but we are looking into recruiting Steve Erwin. We think he would be good for the TV commercials…amusing as hell at least. Bryce wants to get crocodiles in there some how, and we figured this would be the best way to do it. We started filming the commercials last week, but as I said before, we are still waiting to hear from Steve, so we had to use a cardboard cutout of him. Even though neither of us had any experience with crocodiles, Bryce said he still wanted to use one for the effect. Bryce’s leg is healing very nicely, by the way. The doctor said the scars should heal pretty soon. I was fine. Being from Australia, I know what to do when I see a crocodile getting out of control…run away! Bryce was a good sport about it. In fact, I think he enjoyed it a little too much. It meant people bringing him things to make him feel better. Of course this meant cases upon cases of beer. I have to say I love the way his mind works…he pondered to this thought to me one day…

Bryce: 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case…coincidence? I think not.

Ben: I never thought of it like that before…

Bryce: Many people have said I’m a very deep thinker.

Ben: I can see why.

Bryce: Don’t worry about me. I’ll be up and out soon. Did you ever get a hold of Steve?

Ben: I did, actually. I was kind of surprised when he said he would be thrilled to join CAR.

Bryce: Well of course he was thrilled. Who wouldn’t want to be in our society? Canadians and Australians will rule the world someday, you mark my word. And that day will go down in the history books, and little children will poke their parents after one day of watching “Sesame Street Goes Country,” and ask them, “Were you there when CAR took over?” And the parents will smile at their child and say. “You bet your bottom dollar I was! That is why this world is such a wonderful place!” And framed portraits of you, me, and Steve will hang above the fireplace as the family sits by the fire and drinks hot cocoa while listening to the soundtrack from ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’

Ben: Ummm…Bryce, how much morphine did they give you?

Jason

Jason is an amazing man, to me. His music is inspiring to many people, and so when he asked me to tour with them, I didn’t even hesitate. We have a pretty good relationship; the kind where you can tell each other anything. Most of the time we make fun of some of the stuff Rick and Bryce do on the bus, but other times, we sit and discuss major things. These are things about life, motion, music, agility, and grades…

Jason: Pick, Ben.

Ben: I don’t know if I can.

Jason: Of course you can. I believe in you.

Ben: But what if it doesn’t have that special something?

Jason: Life is about making decisions. I’m sure whatever you choose will be fine.

Ben: I’ve never known pressure quite like this…

Dance Dance Revolution is a very delicate situation with me and Jason. I decided to go with a random selection. Jason and I have been practicing for months in the back of the bus, during sound check, while the opening band is on, and in random arcades. There was a DDR championship coming up in Detroit that we were pretty nervous about. We both were trying to make ourselves more limber by practicing some yoga…that striking cobra is fierce I must say, I think I threw my back out after doing it about 12 times. On the day of the championship, Jason and I listened to the band’s inspirational tape to warm up. He was to compete with this guy they called, ‘The Human Windmill.” After Jason and I made fun of his name, he went over to the pad and began to bust a move to J’Lo’s, “Play.” He’s an inspiration; the way he took those combos with such ease and perfection…pure awesomeness. I went up against this guy from Japan who preferred to stand on his hands and play. I was a little intimidated, I will admit, but I had confidence in myself. I stood on my play-pad and looked him straight in the feet and said, “Game on!” I don’t remember too much about that day after that. The guy had lost his balance and kicked me directly in the face. By the time I woke up, the competition was over and Jason was sitting with me on a couch. Sadly, he only got runner-up. He received a shirt that said, ‘No argument shut up and DANCE!’ and Richard Simon’s, ‘Sweating to the Oldies’ 3 and 4, which was great because we only had 1 and 2 on the bus. I told Jason I was proud to be his touring guitarist and we exchanged a moment only band members know of…ah yes…good times.

Rick

Where do I begin? Rick is Rick. Rick is probably one of the best people I know. Crazy? Yes. Different? Utterly. Talented? Absolutely. Rick and I love to go to the zoo together. Make fun all you want, but the zoo is cool, man. We love hanging out by the penguins. Rick says they make him jump in there and swim with them. Naturally the kangaroos are one of my favorites, no surprise there, but I also love platypus…they just amaze me! I’ll stand there for hours just staring at trying to figure it out. It’s a very misunderstood animal, and I think we can all relate with that. After my pondering session, Rick goes to perform with the monkeys. And you might be thinking, ‘Perform with the monkeys?’ but then again this is Rick, so you choose to accept the idea. Every time we go to the zoo, Rick insists on playing the bongos with the monkeys. He says he wants to bring music to the animal kingdom, which I think is pretty cool, but different…A must whenever we go to the zoo is the train ride. The train travels through the zoo’s many attractions for little kids. I sit at the back of the train with my knees up to my chest and Rick runs up to the front to sit next to the conductor so he can be his “special helper” and pull the bell. It makes him happy. I just laugh anytime I imagine a group of people walking by and seeing a grown man pulling a bell and smiling with glee, and a man holding on for dear life on the back of a tiny little train with little children shooting spit balls in all directions.

Rick: *singing* Get on the train, hitch a ride!

Ben: CHOO-CHOO!

Rick: Come on! It’s a choo-choo!

Ben: WOO-WOO!

Rick: Come on! It’s a choo-choo train!

This is Lifehouse. These guys are quirky and unusual, but geniuses who don’t know what to do with their free time. I don’t know how long I’ll be with them, but I do know this…that Bryce and I will dominate the world with CAR, Jason and I will be the DDR champions, and Rick and I will have fun harassing animals at the zoo for years to come! This is the band, according to me.