Room Of Plastic Flowers

*BUZZZZZZ* The alarm went off and Jason’s hand emerged from the covers to turn it off. He looked at the clock and groaned. It was 7:45 in the morning. Their PR people had scheduled a photo shoot that day and thought it would be fun to schedule it at the crack of dawn. Jason rolled out of bed with his eyes still closed. *THUD*

Jason: OW!

That was the night stand. *CRASH*

Jason: SON OF A...!

That was the dresser.

Jason: OOOOOOO!

Hot water in the shower.

Jason: HIIIIIIIIII YI YI!

Cold water in the shower...Ok, so Jason’s obviously not a morning person. After taking a shower, he began to collect some outfits for the shoot. In a different part of town, Rick was doing the same thing. He gazed upon his manly outline and nodded in approval. He grabbed his keys and head towards the door.

Woman: AHHHHHH!

Rick: *runs back in* I should probably put some clothes on.

So while Rick was covering his “manly outline,” Bryce was collecting several outfits that would make him look charming, mature, pleasant, appealing, established, and so on. Many knew him has the “rocker type” with old t-shirts and jeans...a scarf here...a few bracelets there...but he wanted to be more than that image...maybe even shock the hell out of people. Bryce giggled and crept into the bathroom. Around 8:30 people were starting to show up outside the small town where the photographer decided his vision would take place. It was a dark deserted street that had that old timely charm about it. Jason arrived and parked his car in the lot. He grabbed a couple of outfits from the back of his car then walked up to the people who were setting up.

Jason: Excuse me, where should I put my clothes?

Gabriel: Are you speaking to me?

Jason: Um...yeah...

Gabriel: Do you not know who I am?

Jason: No, not really.

Gabriel: I am the man who will be turning your pathetic excuse for style into a magnificent peacock, strutting its feathers across the internet and other modes of marketing.

Jason: Right. So where can I put my clothes?

Gabriel: My assistant, April, will take them. You can go in that tent. I believe Ron and Bruce are in there.

Jason: Rick and Bryce, you mean.

Gabriel: Whatever. I’ll be getting my film ready.

Gabriel walked away from Jason in a huff. Jason walked towards the tent in a huff. He pulled back the tent door-flap and burst into laughter. Bryce and Rick were in tight...very tight suits with very large white collars blossoming out of their necks.

Bryce: Jason, this is not funny.

Jason: *still laughing* Yes it is!

Rick: Jason, I can’t feel my legs...that’s bad, right?

Jason: Don’t worry, guys I’ll take care of this. Rick, try poking your legs with your fingers until I get back.

Rick: Ok. *poke* *poke*

Suddenly there were some voices heard outside the tent, and then the sound of things crashing, a dentist drill, and a large whoopee cushion. Jason emerged from outside the tent.

Jason: Alright, guys. Get into your own clothes, and let’s get this over with.

Rick: Um...ok.

Jason proceeded to leave the tent.

Bryce: What the hell just happened?

Rick: I don’t know, but I think I heard a whoopee cushion mixed in that sequence and I liked it!

Even though everyone, including the writer, had no idea what Jason had done exactly to change Gabriel’s mind, we all accepted it. Rick and Bryce walked onto the set and prepared themselves to be posed in a sexy alluring way that would tempt the public to buy, buy, buy, a Lifehouse hoodie! Get yours today! (Now in black and red).

Gabriel: Alright, here’s my vision. I see Jason, the lead singer/songwriter in front, Rick, the drummer in the middle a little to the left; your right, and Bryce the bass player behind Rick.

Bryce: Why do I have to be in the back? I’m always in the back because---

Gabriel: You’re a freak of nature and must be in the back.

Bryce: Um...ok, I was just going to say “tall” but whatever.

The boys proceeded to get in their rightful places.

Gabriel: Yes, good. Now, Jason, I need you to give me that long deep stare that will make women melt. Can you handle that?

Jason: No problem, man.

Gabriel: And put your hands half-way in your pockets.

Jason: *does so* Like this?

Gabriel: Yessss, good. Now give me that long deep stare.

Jason: *long deep stare*

Gabriel: Excellent! Now, Rick, I want you to do a stare too, but not as long or deep as Jason’s.

Rick: Um...ok...What should I do with my arms?

Gabriel: You...you will...Yes! That’s brilliant! You shall......cross them in front of your chest!

Rick: I can do that!

Gabriel: I know you can!

Bryce: What should I do?

Gabriel: Hmmm...Bryce, yes, yes, you shall stand tall and proud and put your hands on your ass.

Bryce: This man is good.

Gabriel: Alright, everyone into position! Good. *snaps photo*

Gabriel: Alright, now go change into another outfit and meet me by that fan thingy over there.

The guys went to change their clothes. Once they were done, they walked over to where Gabriel had set up.

Gabriel: Ok...this is what I’m seeing now...Jason’s in front.

Bryce: Again?

Gabriel: Bryce is in the back.

Bryce: Again?!

Gabriel: Please trust my artistic vision. Jason, I think you should just leave your arms down at your sides and give a look like you just lost a puppy or something.

Jason: Ok. *looks sad*

Gabriel: Rick, stand to the right of Jason, my left. Good, now angle your body and leave your arms at your sides as well.

Rick: Like this?

Gabriel: Yes, but turn your head towards me and give me a long deep stare.

Rick: As long and deep as Jason’s?

Gabriel: No, longer and deeper.

Rick: Gotcha.

Gabriel: Bryce, you shall be behind Jason, and...Ohhhh I don’t want to see your arms in this picture, so just put them on your ass again.

Bryce: Ok...

Gabriel: Good. Now, no one move. *snaps photo*

Gabriel: Alright, Jason move front center and cock your head at an angle as if to say, “you want a piece of me?”

Jason: Hands still at the side?

Gabriel: Yes, hands will remain at the side. Rick, you will remain the same as the last pose, but I’ll zoom in closer.

Rick: Cool, dude.

Gabriel: And, Bryce...

Bryce: I am not touching my ass anymore! My hands are starting to feel really weird.

Gabriel: Of course not, Bryce. That would be boring. You will stand to the left of Jason and hold your hands to your chest and comfort them for having to hold your ass for so long.

Bryce: Oh, I see how this all fits in!

Gabriel: I know I’m a genius. Now, ready? Go! *Snaps picture*

Gabriel: Alright, go and change. I only have one more shot left.

Rick: Hey, do you think we can pose ourselves in this last one?

Gabriel: Well...um...I don’t know. I mean I am trained to pose people. It takes a lot of training to be as good as I.

Jason: Oh, of course, but we have learned so much from you that I think we could handle one little picture.

Gabriel: Well, alright. If it stinks I have other photos that will do.

So, the guys went and changed and hurried back to the street corner for their last shot.

Jason: I think I’m gonna do that long deep stare. I really like it. I feel like I have power.

Rick: Yeah, I think I’m going to keep my little cross of the arms. I’ve become quite good at it. Wouldn’t you agree?

Jason: I would indeed.

Bryce: And I am keeping my hands as far away from my ass as possible.

Rick: I’m all for that idea.

Bryce: I’m so glad this is over. I always feel like a piece of meat during these things.

Rick: Yeah, I know. I’m definitely too sexy for this shirt.

Gabriel: Alright, boys, I’m taking the shot. *snaps picture*

Guys: We bad.