Room Of Plastic Flowers

It had been an exciting week for the fans of Lifehouse. A new album in June, new tour dates with The Goo Goo Dolls, what more could they ask for? Well, things may have seemed just peachy…but there was one very disappointed person…

Child: Who could it be?

Who could it be indeed? There was a certain Ohio native who was quite upset that Lifehouse was scheduled to be in her home state while she was enhancing her mind in lonely Philadelphia.

Child: Who was it?

It was the writer.

Child: Uh-oh…

Quite right. Now she would move on of course, but she had to find a way to make herself feel better…and luckily it was Bryce’s Birthday.

Child: Hehehe…
Bryce: Damn it! Why does my birthday have to come first?

And so we begin our little adventure in an obnoxiously sunny place called California. Our musical men were gathering once again to celebrate Bryce’s birthday.

Rick: Ok, I’ve got the whole day planned out.
Bryce: Oh, God.
Jason: No actually it should be fun. We’re taking you to Disneyland for the day to reconnect with your inner child.
Bryce: Oh awesome! I need to reconnect with him…it’s been at least six hours.

So the guys drove down to Disneyland. They rode the roller coasters, they ate large amounts of food, they drank large amounts of beer…it was a great day.

Bryce: Guys…this…is the best birthday I’ve ever had…this is such a magical place…
Jason: We’re glad to be here with ya man…*sniffs; takes another sip of beer*
Rick: Um…we’re not gonna break down and have a major hug session now, are we?
Bryce: No, that’s for the end.
Rick: Gotcha.
Jason: So what do you want to do next, birthday boy?
Bryce: I wanna ride…DUMBO!
Rick: Ooo! Oooo! Me too!
Jason: Ok, you can ride Dumbo. I think I’m gonna try and find a restroom.

Bryce and Rick skipped merrily along the brick covered road on their way to the Dumbo ride. Before they knew it, several flying Dumbos could be seen flying overhead. The two looked at each other with a glimmer of joy in their eyes and ran over to the ride. The line was extremely long. Rick began to do the pee dance so much that Bryce started to pretend he wasn’t with him.

Bryce: Rick, why don’t you just go to the bathroom?
Rick: I don’t want the line to move while I’m doing my business.
Bryce: I promise I won’t get on without you. Now go do what you have to do.
Rick: Ok, it’s your birthday.

Rick ran away to the men’s restroom while Bryce remained in line. As Bryce stood in the sun, he could feel the beads of sweat start to pour down his face. The line seemed to get longer and longer every time he looked ahead. Rick still hadn’t come back from the bathroom…he had probably made friends with animatronic squirrels or something. Suddenly, Bryce felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a beautiful girl in a gown with a glass of water and an apple. Bryce’s vision was fuzzy from the heat and he could barely make out who the girl was.

Girl: Did I just hear that it’s your birthday today?
Bryce: *blinking* Uh…yeah…yes it is. Who…who are you?
Girl: Silly, it’s Snow White.
Bryce: Oh hey, Snow.
Snow White: I was wondering if you could help me find my way home. *seductively* I seem to be lost.
Bryce: *blushing* Oh, well, *giggles* thank you, but I’m waiting for my friend…

Snow White pushes up her…um…apples.

Bryce: Uh…he’ll understand. Let’s go.

And faster than a speeding bullet, Bryce and Snow White were running out of the Dumbo line. A few minutes later, Rick came back, but there was no sign of his blonde friend. He looked up and down the line calling out his name.

Rick: Bryce! Bryce!

But there was no sign of him. He went up to the front of the line and waited for the people to get off the ride, but there still was no sign of Bryce. Rick suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

Rick: OMG…it’s his birthday…it’s his birthday!

At this obvious revelation, Rick jumped over a crowd of twelve children and darted in the direction of where they left Jason. Now Jason was just sitting at the table, minding his own business when a woman walked up to him and recognized him as the fabulous singer/songwriter of her favorite band. She said she and her company would be honored if he played a little didy for them. At this, Jason blushed and said he would love to, and for cases such as this, he always carried an acoustic guitar in his backpack. (Jason’s related to Mary Poppins). As Jason was singing and playing in the square, people gathered from all around the park. Teenage girls swooned and birds chirped along merrily to his tune. While Jason was putting on a mini concert, he noticed something strange. He saw Bryce and Snow White run into a little house and close the door. Knowing that this was probably bad, he got up and walked over to the door. He pulled and pulled but it wouldn’t open.

Jason: Bryce! Bryce!
Rick: *running through the crowds* Bryce! Bryce!
Jason: Rick?
Rick: *stops running* Jason?
Jason: *walks toward him* Rick!
Rick: Jason?
Jason: Rick, I’m right here.
Rick: Oh, Jason! Something terrible has happened to Bryce! I know it!
Jason: Why would you say that?
Rick: It’s his birthday, and you remember what happened last year?

Jason: Well, actually, it seems to be going pretty well. I just saw him go into this small house with Snow White. Maybe we should just let him have some fun.

But deep in the basement of the seven dwarves cottage, Bryce was having anything but fun. He was tied up with Donald and Goofy standing before him.

Goofy: Yah huh! Good work Snow.
Snow White: Aw it was nothing. Men are easy.
Bryce: *tied up* What’s going on?! What have I done now? Wait…I didn’t leave you feeling used and broken hearted, did I?
Snow White: Not to my knowledge.
Bryce: Good. I was beginning to see a pattern in my life.
Donald: We don’t want to hurt you. Mickey wants you to do him a special favor.
Bryce: Um…why did you have to lure me down here with a beautiful woman and her…uh…apples.
Goofy: Yah huh…oh just for dramatic effect of course!
Bryce: Right…so what’s this favor?
Donald: A friend of yours has informed us that it is your birthday…
Snow White: …And you’re a good dancer…*winks*

As the Disney characters explained to Bryce what they wanted him to do, Jason and Rick looked all over for their missing friend.

Rick: *shaking Winnie the Pooh* Alright, Pooh! I know you know where my friend is! Now give it up! Give it up!
Jason: Rick! Get a hold of yourself!
Rick: OMG…I’m sorry Pooh…I’m a big fan.

After Pooh had stopped shaking, he motioned for the boys to follow him. Not knowing what else to do, the boys followed the large yellow bear to a parade going on down the street. There were floats for every Disney character imaginable. The music was loud and confetti filled the air.

Rick: This is some shindig.
Jason: Wait, is that?
Rick: Wow! Bryce looks great!

Bryce was shakin’ what his mama gave him up on a float for Peter Pan.

Rick: Go Bryce!
Jason: Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that Tinker Bell is grindin’ against Captain Hook?
Rick: Cover your eyes, Pooh.

The float passed by them and Rick shouted out to Bryce who waved back. Another float came by that was singing ‘Under the Sea.’ The boys’ mouths dropped and rolled down the street a few blocks. In the middle with a large Sebastian was Ben with maracas and dancing to the music. He saw Jason and Rick staring at him and he waved. He motioned for Pooh to bring them on the floats.

Pooh: *pushes Jason and Rick towards the floats*
Jason: Oh no, we couldn’t.
Rick: Come on, Jason. It’s Bryce’s birthday. And what way to show we really love him then to get on a Disney float and make asses out of ourselves?
Jason: I guess you’re right.

Hahaha…oh sorry. The images flooding my mind are priceless. Anyways, the men of Lifehouse boogied with the best of the Disney characters all afternoon. Later that night, a fireworks show was put on in honor of Bryce.

Ben: Wow this is really magical.
Jason: Ben, I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve missed you.
Rick: Yeah, these stories haven’t been the same without you.
Ben: It’s great to be back. Where’d Bryce go?
Rick: Oh, he’s making out with Snow White.
Jason/Ben: Ahhh…
Rick: Yeah. Apparently she has a nice set of apples.
Readers: *Groan*